Good Things to Know

Things to Consider:

Plan a Long Engagement

This may sound funny to put in a list of hints and tips, but it's really the 

most important. Dating for at least two years and then having at least a 

year-long engagement is the minimum amount of time it takes to really 

get to know if you will have a successful marriage. Remember - you're 

not going to change the other person into what you want after the 

ceremony. The person you're dating now is the same person you'll be 

spending the rest of your life with. Count on this!

From a logistical standpoint, you often need to book your ceremony and

reception locations at least a year in advance in order to get your first 

choice. The same holds true for your photographer, and the gown can also 

take several months to get. And even before all this, you both need to do 

research on everything before committing to anything. 

From a practical standpoint, a year-long engagement will allow you enough 

time to build up savings specifically for your wedding. If it's not enough

time...you need a longer engagement!

Finally, a long engagement will give you time to see how you function as 

a couple when you're making momentous financial decisions together. 

As you plan your day you'll discover several areas of disagreement. How 

you deal with them will give you a preview of your relationship in marriage.

Plan Everything As A Couple

People sometimes think of the wedding as "The Bride's Day", but nothing 

could be farther from the truth! This is an event that affects you equally; 

both from a personal and financial viewpoint. 

Talk about everything, beginning with why you're having a ceremony in the 

first place. (A justice of the peace would be legal; why do you want a 

ceremony?)  How important is the reception?  What would be the important 

elements of a perfect wedding day?  How will you pay for it?  Create your 

own day together based on your combined desires; don't simply accept 

what is commonly done. Make it personal. Make it memorable. Above all, 

make it enjoyable!

Set Your Priorities

Unlimited time and money would be great, but the reality is that you'll have 

to make some compromises. Once again, you need to discuss this together 

in order to design a wedding day that reflects you both. 

OPEN A DEDICATED CHECKING ACCOUNT

As soon as you become engaged, open a new joint checking account reserved 

only for your wedding expenses. It will help you keep track of everything you 

purchase, as well as where the money came from. After the wedding day it can 

become your household account.

ESTABLISH A BUDGET

One of the first things to determine as you begin to plan your wedding is your 

budget. Often when we talk to couples they'll tell us that their budget is "as 

little as possible". This is an excellent goal, but it's surely not a budget. 

Deciding on a budget is made all the more difficult since you are about to 

invest in a number of items and services that you have never dealt with before, 

and therefore have no idea what they cost. All this to culminate in a single day. 

No pressure here!

In order to plan your wedding you need to know exactly what resources

you have and then decide how you will divide them. Those resources may

include funds from parents, savings, and even what you're willing to borrow or 

put on credit cards; but it should be something specific. If parents are going to 

be helping, you'll all find it better for them to donate a specific amount (for 

example, $500 towards photography) rather than just saying they'll "take care 

of the photography".

START A DATABASE

Start keeping track of all guests on a database. It

doesn't have to be complicated; Microsoft Works or Claris Filemaker will

do just fine. Some useful fields to include are the name on the

invitation, how many people the invitation is likely to represent,

addresses, gift received, and whose side of the family or friends they

belong to. Print out a report with blanks by each name to fill in as you

open gifts. As you write your thank you notes you can continue to keep

track of those you still need to send. When you're finished, you'll have

the beginnings of your new household address book and Christmas card

list!

PHOTOGRAPHY

No matter what else happens on your wedding day, when it's all over your 

photographs will be all that remain.  Take the opportunity to capture not only 

the day, but important people as well. It may be the last time your entire family 

is together in one place at the same time. Be sure to get good pictures of 

grandparents, your siblings and parents, and special friends that may have 

traveled a long way. If your budget is limited place your priorities on the people

that are there, not the events such as candids and ceremony photographs.

You're not buying photographs - you're buying a service! Be sure you

both meet the person or persons who will be actually be photographing

your wedding. The relationship you have is, in some ways, more important

than the photographs because your photographer is the only person you'll

be seeing before, during, and after the wedding. It's important you both

like and trust them as a person.

Each photographer has a different style, so look through samples at

several studios to be sure you know what you like in wedding photography. 

Finally, match them up with your photography budget, and then get the 

very best (for you) photographer you can afford. Remember that of all the 

money you spend on your wedding, the photographs are all you'll have left. 

And there is no going back to get pictures that were missed.

FLOWERS

Silks and dried are "practical", but nothing adds to the ambiance of a 

romantic wedding day like fresh flowers. If you'll be having your reception 

in another location, designate someone with a van to transport them there 

to do "double-duty". The bridal bouquet gets a lot of handling during the day, 

so be sure whoever is constructing it understands how to make it so it's not 

falling apart by the time the ceremony begins.

RECEIVING LINE

Receiving lines take a long time to complete - about 45 minutes per

100 people. Consider having just the two of you or you and the parents

only. If you'll be having sit-down food at your reception, consider

walking from table to table instead of having a receiving line. It's

more fun for both you and your guests, and takes less time over all.

(Plus you can take a break anytime you want.)

RECEPTION

Here's where you have the most flexibility. Do you want to have a simple 

cake and coffee, full-blown sit-down dinner with dance band, or something 

in-between? What are you willing to eliminate? Where could you cut costs 

and still be happy? For example, if you want to have dancing or background 

music, how about a professional DJ instead of a band? Remember that the 

bigger your reception the more details you'll need to keep track of and the 

CAKE

A good bakery will help you decide exactly how much cake you'll

need for different circumstances. Sometimes you'll find the best plan is

to have a moderate-sized wedding cake and one or two smaller pan cakes

of different types. Generally when alcohol is being served, people tend to 

eat less cake.  Also, red frosting often has a bitter taste.

THE TOAST

Giving a Great Toast

LOOK AT PHOTOGRAPHY ALBUMS FOR WEDDING IDEAS

As you visit different

studios to view examples of their work, notice what's happening in the

pictures, as well as the photography itself.

You can get great ideas for bouquets, cakes, dresses, and wedding events

by seeing pictures of other couple's weddings. If the studio has any

proof albums, be sure to look at them in addition to completed albums.

First, it will give you an idea of how complete their coverage is; and

secondly it will give you an idea of what your entire day might be like.

ASK ADVICE

You know many married people both among your friends and

family. Ask them about their wedding day. What would they repeat? What

would they change? You don't have to do anything anyone tells you, but

experience counts! Pay attention to it!

Rented tux shoes are really uncomfortable. Invest in a pair of Dr.

Scholl's foam inner soles for all the guys.  Plan to have comfortable 

shoes to slip into at the reception. You don't have to use them, but 

you'll be glad to have them if your feet start to hurt.